


Firsts

by levibes



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, I cant write fluff without angst, I honestly wrote this instead of sleeping, I'll add more tags and characters as i go, M/M, but..., this was supposed to be fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levibes/pseuds/levibes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heiwajima Shizuo hates Orihara Izaya.</p><p>Orihara Izaya hates Shizuo Heiwajima.<br/>Or...so he claims.</p><p>For, what Orihara Izaya feels isn't hate.<br/>Its also a four letter word though.<br/>But, its a word he'd never agree to.<br/>Or so he claims.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck me.  
> Why do I keep writing new fics when I still have yet to update my other ones?!?  
> Also, why can't I write fluff without angst?!?
> 
> *shrugs fo days*

-Izaya POV-

It was soft.

Gentle.

It was supposedly his first kiss as well, yet the way his lips would slide along mine and how my tongue felt as if melting inside his mouth. I didn't believe him at all.

It was all a joke. I didn't expect him to accept. I was just teasing him.

It was all just a joke.

•

It was already 2:39 am and I was still at the bar he worked as a bartender. I had been there since 11:30 pm, waiting at a far table at the corner of the bar, for him to walk through the door and start his shift.

I kept my eyes set on the door, sipping some pink alcoholic beverage I honestly didn't care for. It was just to keep myself busy as I waited for the object of my uneasy affections to walk in.

After my fifth glass of it, the door swung open, letting a cool breeze into the small bar; and this time it wasn't a worn out salary worker or cocky lady. It was him. Finally. 

I watched as he sluggishly rubbed his hazel eyes and yawn drowsily, his mouth wide open showing off his perfectly align teeth. As he slowly made his way to the back of the room to check in for duty, he lazily slipped off the dark green scarf around his neck and unzipped his black jacket, revealing his bartender uniform. 

He disappeared for a couple of minutes and came back appearing more awake and ready than when he first arrived. When he got behind the counter to start his work, I got up from the far table and made my way to the counter, taking a seat right in front of him.

"You seem exhausted." I mumbled without much thought, my eyes looking over his face. His eyes were red from lack of sleep apparent by the black bags under his eyes.

Immediately, his lips twisted into a foul scowl and his eyebrows furrowed with impatience, yet he said nothing. In fact, he ignored my comment and walked away to help another customer that had just arrived. Another drained from work salary man.

I didn't say anything or do anything but watch his retreating form from where I sat, still sipping on the beverage in my hand. 

After a while, I looked away, unable to contain my jealousy as he and the salary worker kept having a perfectly calm and normal conversation. Something I nor him could ever do with each other. However, what we could do, that no one else could, was give and receive death threats with a few vending machines and throwing daggers.

I bit my inner cheek as I heard a rich and genuine laugh escape him and the worker's mouths. Surely he was smiling a smile I had never seen. A smile I do not wish to see unless its directed to me.

I could only assume an hour had passed and the customer decided to call it a night, paying before stepping out to the cold autumn night. After the door closed with a soft bang, he came back to me, still not happy to see me. Of course he wouldn't be happy though. It was me, his arch enemy and the object of his 'hatred' and anger.

I smirked half heartedly, the alcohol finally rushing through my blood and brain.

"Shizu-chan." I whispered faintly, my eyes falling from his cold glare, down to his rosy and plump lips that formed another scowl. All directed to me, and me only.

I should be satisfied. His attention was finally on me. Since his shift started, he was ignoring me and I knew it. But, just because I knew, didn't mean I'd accept that. No, I wanted his attention. I wanted him to look at me. And me only. I wanted him to ignore others. Not me. But, now that I had his attention…

It wasn't like I had wanted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To not have really irregular updates like I always have, these chapters will be hella short tbh.  
> But its all for the sake of actual updates that don't take two months or more.


	2. Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I did say the chapters would be short so that this would be updated regularly.  
> But...some complications happened so yeah.  
> Good news.  
> This chapter is rather longer than I expected...  
> •  
> Enjoy ~ (?)

"Its the third time this week. Consecutively. What the fuck do you want, you goddamn bastard?" Shizuo would growl as he tried his hardest not to throw fists at the taunting smirk in front of him. For the damn flea was a customer.

'You.' Izaya thought, his smirk wavering, the alcohol affecting his composure.

"I don't see you all day but these last few nights, I find you in this exact bar, where I work. Couldn't you go to another bar?!" He kept bickering, grating Izaya's ears with words he didn't want to hear.

The good thing was that although Shizuo was late, he actually came.

The bad thing was…

Why was he late?

Where was he?

Who was he with?

What were they doing?

The feeling of a sharp and merciless knife found its way into Izaya's heart, twisting and turning around like it ran the place.

"I was working." Izaya finally claimed, laying his head down on his crossed arms on top of the counter, but looked away from the infuriated blond.

Shizuo noticed Izaya was acting different from the usual. Very different, in fact. It kinda ~~worried~~ freaked him out. 

Shizuo's quietness made Izaya turn his gaze back at the blond. Said blond was looking straight into his eyes, Izaya unable to tear his gaze away.

Izaya's crimson eyes seemed darker and it wasn't because of the poorly lit bar. It was much more to it, but Shizuo really couldn't put his finger on it. Not that he could. This was supposed to be his most hated enemy.

His eyes also seemed distant from him, despite being right in front of him. They lacked that malicious glint he always had. They actually looked...sorrowful…pained.

Shizuo kept staring into his eyes, Izaya staring right back. No words were spoken until Izaya finally broke contact, his eyes shifting away once again.

"--ere you?" Izaya muttered softly, eyes fixed on a stool, a couple seats away from his own.

The raven's voice was too soft, Shizuo didn't hear but the last part. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he spoke with an uncharacteristic tender voice to Izaya.

"What did you say?" He asked, making Izaya flinch slightly.

Izaya's fingers wrapped around his empty glass, the grip tightening before he asked again.

"You….you were late. Really late, actually. Doesn't your shift start around twelve? Where were you?" Izaya repeated, his heart beat increasing in pace.

Shizuo pried Izaya's hand away from the glass, Izaya's arm recoiling back in slight fear, but not that he would ever admit to the blond. Fear that he would beat him to bloody pulp for asking 'too many' questions. He wasn't mentally stable right now. So obviously he wasn't stable to fight with the stupid protozoan. The alcohol was affecting his mind, affecting his actions, his words.

Shizuo took the glass away and brought Izaya a glass of water, noticing Izaya was really drunk.

"You drank too much, didn't you?" Shizuo asked, not replying to Izaya's question.

Izaya only pouted, looking back at the bartender, "You ignored me again."

Shizuo shrugged, "When don't I?"

The corner of Izaya's lips curled upward just a bit, despite another jab at his heart, "You may have a point, beast."

Shizuo frowned at the mocking word of 'beast'. He slammed the glass of water in front of Izaya, though not too hard to break the thick glass, but strong enough to have some of the water jump up a bit, splashing Izaya's face. Izaya tried to avoid it but was too slow.

'Thanks alcohol.' He thought sarcastically before throwing a glare at the amused bartender.

"You look stupid trying to muster a glare with those flushed cheeks and slow reactions." Shizuo grinned, throwing Izaya a clean cloth from a basket underneath the counter.

Izaya's cold heart actually warmed up along with his cheeks at the minuscule sight of those pearly white teeth flashing him a grin. Although it wasn't the smile he always yearned for, it was a step up from just receiving scornful scowls and hateful smirks. He promptly wiped the cold and dripping water from his face and threw the towel to Shizuo. Too bad he was drunk as hell and miserably failed at hitting the blond as the towel flew past him a few feet away from his face. Shizuo grinned wider, completely amused by the newly discovered drunk side of the informant.

"I'm leaving!" Izaya announced, cheeks flushed not just because if the alcohol, even when he kept convincing himself it was 'Just the alcohol'. He slammed his hands, on the counter and got up hastily, only to stagger back down.

"Idiot." Shizuo scoffed, but then slid the glass of water right in front of him, "Don't leave. Drink this."

Izaya couldn't believe the words coming out of Shizuo's mouth. He was acting too kind, too caring. He had to be dreaming. But he wasn't. And it was rather concerning since he wasn't in control. It was out of the norm! He needed to get it back to normal. Where he was in control and making Shizuo pissed.

"Make me stay." Izaya smirked, adjusting himself on the stool normally, as if he didn't just fall into it a couple of seconds ago. What could make the fake blond more pissed off than being teased?

There. This is it. This is how he makes the unfamiliar atmosphere turn back to 'normal', to his pace. He'd probably get punched in the face for being cocky but at least it would change the current weirdly affectionate situation and into a situation where he was in control and used to.

Shizuo sighed, rubbing his face sluggishly.

"Fine. How?" He surprisingly asked, leaning against the counter on his elbows, looking straight at Izaya.

Izaya's breathing halted, his cheeks and ear tips burned and his heart beating sped up in a flash, taking notice of Shizuo's face features.

He was too close and although he had dark bags under his eyes, his eyes still shined a bright and pretty hazel, below oddly nice and trimmed eyebrows. His nose was sharp and perfect. His cheekbones were perfectly defined and not too pale or pink. His chin was slightly pointed with a sturdy jawline, a curve at the edge of his lips.

His lips.…

They had always been Izaya's fixation.

Since high school, Izaya took notice of them. They were absolutely alluring and he didn't want anything else than feel them along his own. Move and slide against each other along with eager tongues. A bite and pull on his lower lip and hopefully draw a small moan, perhaps~ ?

He fluttered his eyes back up to Shizuo's eyes, completely forgetting his original intention.

Without hesitation, and as if Shizuo's gaze on him was enough to draw out any truth from him, Izaya blurted out.

"Kiss me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are very appreciated <3


	3. Ugly Scarf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Titles are creative asf tbh  
> Lmaoooo  
> No.  
> They aren't.  
> I suck at titles =.=  
> Anyways...  
> Enjoy ~ (?)

"Heiwajima-san, you may take your leave now." The blond's boss sighed, suddenly walking out from the back of the bar and startling the pair of so called 'enemies'. He was already slipping his arms into his jacket's sleeves.

Swiftly, Shizuo teared away from Izaya's gaze as Izaya did the same. 

"W-What?" Shizuo asked, finally snapping out of his confused trance. His cheeks burned and turned bright red, spreading all the way to the tips of his ears.

Izaya just cleared his throat, finally drinking the water in front if him he had gotten from Shizuo earlier. His cheeks also burned red, probably even more than Shizuo.

"I'm surprised you're still here too. There's no one anymore. I was pretty sure I was all alone." He chuckled, shaking his head, his brown hair shaking side to side slightly.

"Oh, haha…" Shizuo laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I lost track of time." He spoke, looking at the clock on the wall. His eyes widen, noticing it was really late. Er, rather, really 'early'. "I really did forget about the time." He chuckled, walking to the back of the bar to get his stuff. 

"Alright, well. I'll leave the keys here." Shizuo's boss called after him, placing the keys on the counter in front of Izaya.

"Good night." He smiled at Izaya.

Izaya smiled back, despite his inner turmoil. "Good night. Be careful on your way now, ne?"

The brunet nodded, still smiling as he took his leave. 

Izaya chugged the last of the water. 'I guess I should leave as well. There's obviously going to be no kiss now that I can't stay. .....Not that I was expecting one...ha.' He got up from the stool, his legs wobbly and his mind wavering from the alcohol.

"Shit. I drank too much." He muttered to himself, grabbing a fistful of his onyx hair with a hand as the other came down to find balance by the counter.

"You really did." A low voice echoed into his mind. Izaya looked up to see Shizuo already there. He looked all ready to go, the green scarf from earlier wrapped around his neck. Honestly, it was stupid to be jealous of a damn piece of fabric. But, there he was, being jealous. He wished it were his arms around that neck, not that disgusting ugly scarf. Ah, no. There goes his stupid talk. Really, it was absolutely absurd to be jealous of a piece of cloth especially since it was Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan, The Beast of Ikebukuro and his own arch nemesis!

Izaya's face flushed red again, recalling his words before they were interrupted. Hopefully, Shizuo didn't hear or maybe, pretend he didn't hear.

"Woah, your face is red as hell. You okay?" Shizuo asked, his gentle eyes looking into Izaya's own.

'So, he didn't hear?' Izaya thought before shaking his head, and tried to stand up once again. He didn't know if he felt relief or disappointment. Not wanting to broad on it too much, he straightened up. "I'm leaving now." He announced, putting on his favorite jacket.

"Do you need he--"

"No, I don't need help." Izaya replied, not caring at all that he had just interrupted Shizuo and maybe have him lash out for that.

"Heh, alright. Try not to get mugged or raped." Shizuo scoffed, walking pass him after snatching the keys in front of the raven.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Izaya questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in slight anger.

Shizuo shrugged, "I was planning to take you home since you can't even stand up straight. But apparently you don't want my help."

"Precisely. I can handle myself pretty well. Though I must say, thank you for caring, Shizu-chan~" Izaya teased, walking past him and out the door.

"I don't give a single shit about you. Don't flatter yourself, flea." Shizuo snarled, also walking out the bar and locking it with the keys his kind boss left him.

The night was cold and silent. There were some bright lights but not much to illuminate the pathway that clearly. A breeze made Izaya sneeze right away.

"What the hell." Shizuo muttered, shoving the keys into his pocket.

Izaya stuffed his hands into his jacket's pockets after snuggling into the hoodie.

"What?" Izaya snapped, halting his unsteady footsteps to face the bartender again.

"Nothing. Good night flea." He sighed, walking the opposite direction of where Izaya was going. Shizuo didn't even glance at Izaya which made him somewhat furious. Was he really going to just give up that easily??! He could have insisted a bit more! Didn't he say that he l--

"Ugh, I'm acting like a hormonal high school girl." Izaya told himself, scrunching his face into slight disgust. He began walking down along the poorly lit sidewalk, only to sway left and right like the drunk he was. "Though, that doesn't change the fact that I hate you, Shizu-chan."


	4. I Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I did say I would update this fic regularly  
> I have failed (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥)  
> Sorry, I was suffering writer's block really badly ;-;  
> Also, I won't update in the month of November at all because November is fluffy month <3  
> So, I'll be busy with that...  
> Anywa- OH  
> This chapter includes a song I so dearly love.  
> It's called I Found (chapter title x3) by Amber Run.  
> It's a really nice song so you guys should like...  
> Listen to it....xD  
> ....I think that's it, so...  
> Enjoy~

"Ugh, why is it freezing??" Izaya asked to no one in particular, seeing as he was the only one walking on the dimly lit sidewalk at such a late, rather, _early_ hour. Or so he thought.

Shizuo knew Izaya had the most arrogant and most stubborn pride. So of course he wouldn't want the bartender aka a 'beast' aka an 'idiotic protozoan' aka 'monster' and most 'importantly', aka his worst enemy, to walk him home. The flea couldn't even walk straight. Shizuo noted from behind the lamp post as he watched Izaya sway his way to his house, his feet dragging a bit.

Shizuo knew that what he was doing was completely stupid and just outright insane.

'Of fucking course I'm not worried. Its just… If something were to happen to him, they'd blame me. Yeah, since I'm his most known nemesis and I hate his guts. He has so many enemies with the shitty job he has, ruining lifes and laughing at it. If I weren't following him, I wouldn't be able to help hi--, uh no. Rather, if he got hurt, they'd say it was me who hurt or killed him. Yeah, it'd be a freaking pain in the ass. And! Only I can hurt or kill him, or I'll kill them.' Shizuo thought, nodding as he agreed with himself. 

A sneeze erupted from Izaya, startling Shizuo a bit as he quickly hid at a nearby darkish corner. It quickly it became a sneezing attack. He sneezed and sneezed, making his vision even more blurry and his head throb with a sharp pain.

"Ugh, no. Please no." Izaya told himself as he snuggled more into his jacket and rubbing his temples. "I can't be getting sick. I have a couple of meetings to attend tomorrow. I can't afford a day off." He grumbled in a somewhat nasally voice.

He kept walking, and found himself humming a song. He would hum happily despite the song being a rather sad love song.

He slowly started singing instead on humming. His voice however was filled with sad and melancholy emotions, carrying along with the gentle wind of the night/early morning.

_"I've moved further than I thought I could…_  
_But I miss you more than I thought I would._  
_I'll use you as a warning sign_  
_That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind._

Shizuo found himself walking out of his hiding place, as if being lured by Izaya's voice. His singing was beautiful yet, delicate like he were about to fall to his knees and cry any second now.

_"I found love where it wasn't supposed to be…_  
_Right in front of me…  
Talk some sense to me…"_

Izaya stopped all of a sudden, feeling his eyes start to tear up and he let out a small pathetic laugh. He then heard footsteps approaching him and he quickly wiped his tearful eyes, careful not to let a single tear fall. Hastily, he pulled out a dagger and rather carelessly threw it to the direction of the noise.

Shizuo almost fell as he dodge the flying dagger and walked out into the light, putting his hands up in defense, "It's me." He mumbled, feeling slightly idiotic for actually coming out of his hiding. Izaya really didn't need to know he was following him.

Izaya was a bit surprise it was Shizuo but shrugged it off and scoffed, pulling out his switchblade. "That doesn't change much now does it, Shizu-chan? What? Are you here to kill me when I'm all drunk? How cruel ~." Izaya smirked but deep inside he was panicking. He really couldn't fight two Shizuos. Well, it was one but he saw two since he was still drunk. Damned alcohol was affecting his vision. He really couldn't believe himself for getting so drunk. What the hell was he thinking???

"I'm not like you to pick on the weak, flea." Shizuo replied harshly, "Put the fucking knife down. I'm just here to take you home. Be grateful it was me and not the goddamn yakuza you always involve yourself in." 

Izaya hesitated, of course on the outside he seemed determined and his knife unwavering, but on the inside he was contemplating Shizuo's words. He had a point, despite the jab of insult towards him. Shizuo was an honest man and wouldn't lie at all, expect the fact that he was a fake blond. And like the _blond_ said, he should also be grateful it was the painfully honest beast and not the yakuza. The yakuza would kill to get an opportunity to get their filthy arms on the drunken Informant. He had done quite some things that would sometimes serve as pure trouble to them despite him finding it as pure fun and entertainment.

Izaya finally gave in, lowering his hand and closing his switchblade to place back inside his pocket. As Izaya did, Shizuo also lowered his arms and sighed. He really didn't want to fight Izaya when he was at a disadvantage. He never was a fan of cheating.

"Were you stalking me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, turning around to resume his walking, Shizuo following right behind.

"What? No. Hell no. I'm no creep." Shizuo pretty much growled, angered at what Izaya was making him out to be. "You're drunk as hell and vulnerable to other people who hate you. I won't let anyone kill you since I'll be the one to end your pathetic life. But not now since its not fair and I wouldn't be satisfied at all."

Izaya nodded as if the protozoan's words made all the sense. "So simple minded." He spoke aloud, a faint grin on his lips.

"Fuck you Izaya. Just shut up and keep walking. I also need to get home, you know!?" Shizuo spat, even more irritated. How could the flea like him have such a beautiful voice despite being…well…the flea!?

"Yes, back home to your monster lair." Izaya chuckled and kept his unsteady pace, making Shizuo more infuriated.

The shuffling of feet and leaves flying through the breeze was the only sound between the two until Shizuo voiced his question.

"Do you always sing like that?" He asked in a soft voice, his gaze away from Izaya and fixed on the trees swaying with the rhythm of the wind.

Izaya stopped, turning back around to Shizuo. "What?" He asked, a bit afraid of the answer he hoped not to hear. Did the single-celled monster really hear him sing??

"Hmm, like…I still fucking hate you, don't get me wrong on that but, your voice…it's…well...pretty." He replied, not using the word he actually wanted, being 'beautiful'. He couldn't directly say that to Izaya since he was already an arrogant piece of shit. Though, his cheeks grew faintly pink as he kept avoiding Izaya's eyes.

Izaya laughed a bit, a little nervous one. "Ah, Shizu-chan wasn't supposed to hear that."

Shizuo shrugged, "I did, so why does it matter?"

'That song reminds me of you…idiot.' Izaya thought as he turned around again and kept walking, not replying to Shizuo.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!  
> Update ~  
> (*´∀`*)

"So, you're just going to ignore me?" Shizuo asked, tilting his head to the side to look at Izaya who was staring down at the pavement, his mind obviously somewhere else. 

Izaya's eyes flickered up to Shizuo, his hands in his jacket's pockets clenching in nervousness. "What do you want, Shizu-chan?" He asked in annoyance, giving an audible tired sigh.

Shizuo tsked, deciding to not further irritate Izaya, _surprisingly_. He stayed quiet, pulling out the carton of cigarettes from his pocket, along with a lighter. He pulled out one, lighting it up as soon as he set it between his lips, taking a long drag.

"Aw, no. Why?? You know I hate the smell of cigarettes!" Izaya whined, his pace increasing to get away from the blond, who let out a puff of smoke too close for the raven's liking.

"Shut up." He muttered, taking another drag and giving another blow. "It's either smoking to keep myself quiet or talking and making you mad." He explained, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks, the cancer stick lazily sticking out between his lips. 

Izaya turned around, giving Shizuo a cold, bitter glare. "Put that out or leave me alone. I don't want my clothes to smell like tobacco." 

"You can always wash your clothes, flea." Shizuo sighed, but flicked the cigarette to the pavement, putting it out with the heel of his shoe.

Izaya resumed walking with a soft 'Hmph', before stopping with a weird face, his nose itching for a sneeze. He rubbed his nose with cold fingers and finally sneezed, embarrassingly, snot shooting out his nose.

Izaya quickly covered his face with a hand, the other frantically looking for a tissue, napkin, _anything_ to clean himself in his pockets.

Shizuo noticed Izaya's panicky state, walking closer to him with curiosity in his eyes. "You okay?" He asked, stepping in front of the raven, his sanguine eyes widening, the fake blond finding it amusing. "What's wrong?" He asked, failing to cover a laugh as Izaya turned his back to him.

"I need tissue." Izaya stated in a nasally, muffled voice, his hands covering his nose.

"What happened?" Shizuo asked, still finding Izaya's weirdness comical, but searched his pockets for anything resembling a tissue. 

"Nothing! Just give me some tissue or something." Izaya practically pleaded. No way was he going to let Shizuo see him in such an awkward state.

Shizuo made a little 'Aha!' sound as he handed Izaya a crumbled napkin from the pocket of his vest.

Izaya stared at it, feeling displeased to be given a crumbly and old looking piece of napkin.

"It's all I have, flea." Shizuo shrugged, "Want it? I swear its clean."

Izaya contemplated his options.

1\. Used the tissue that looked old and disgusting.

Or

2\. Having Shizuo laugh at his misfortune.

Hesitant fingers wrapped around the napkin, the informant, obviously making a decision.

"Look away." He mumbled behind his hand and once Shizuo did, Izaya brought the napkin to his face and blew the snot into it.

Izaya noticed Shizuo's shoulders visibly shaking and heard small laughs slip out his mouth.

"Shizu-chan, you can stop laughing now." He grumbled, slightly irked from being humiliated.

"You're so stupid at times like these." Shizuo sighed, turning around as he heard Izaya's light footsteps walking away. "It was only a little snot, nothin' else." He stated, walking up and right beside him.

"Then shut up and pretend it never happened." Izaya mumbled, giving the bartender a sideways glare.

"Of course." He replied gleefully, too gleefully perhaps. "In exchange, I'd like you to repeat to me what you said at the bar before my boss interrupted."

Izaya's chest tightened in a matter of seconds, feeling his heart suffocating and pounding harder. "What are you talking about?" He asked casually, as if the blood rushing through his veins wasn't fast and his heart wasn't threatening to pop out his too tight chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot for this fic actually got 'bigger' and 'better(?)'  
> (I mean, if you like angst, then...yeah...)
> 
> I'll explain better in the next chapter ~ ♡


	6. Fairness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I wrote this in the car waiting for my mom to hurry up from grocery shopping.  
> There are probably mistakes so feel free to correct me in the comments cx

"I'm talking about what you said. What you wanted me to do to you." Shizuo replied, too shy to actually say exactly what Izaya had asked, rather demanded, of him. 

He actually didn't even know if he heard correctly, because honestly, what kind of person would want a kiss from their source of hatred?? It made absolute no sense.

Izaya had shrugged slightly, looking down at his feet as they both walked. None of them actually noticing how they were walking at the same pace with matching footsteps until Izaya noticed and felt his heart squeeze.

"It was nothing." He finally spoke, sighing softly causing a swirl of his breath in the cold air. 

Shizuo wasn't one to drop an issue so easily, especially when it came to Izaya, and Izaya acting so distant and unnatural, so he pressed further, pushing away his 'hatred' for Izaya and his shyness not many believed he would have.

"Why'd you want me to kiss yo--"

The feeling of stepping on something so squishy, but certainly not mud with the obvious smell of literal shit, had both men stop dead in their tracks, looking at each other's eyes that showed that one of them most definitely fucked up.

Izaya's face was the first one to crack a smile, letting out a small chuckle, noticing he was not the one who fucked up. He skipped away from Shizuo, laughing as he watched the fake blond's lips twist into a foul scowl, nose scrunch up, and eyebrows furrow.

The blond looked down and immediately let out a string of slurred curse words as the stench of crap fill his nose. He took a step into the grass, stomping his shoe _decorated_ with dog poop on it, rubbing it against the grass, trying to get rid of it as much as possible.

"Shut the fuck up before I make you lick my motherfucking shoe clean, louse." Shizuo grumbled, glaring at the delighted informant.

Izaya stopped laughing, but not smiling as he stared at Shizuo with watery eyes, he tried to wipe off.

"Ne, it's only a little dog poop, _nothin'_ else." Izaya threw the bartender's words (with a slight change) right back at him, making the blond eyebrows furrow and scoff. 

"Just lead the way to your place so I can go home." Shizuo sighed, walking off, deeming his shoe 'clean enough'.

Izaya pointed to the building he lived in, right across the street, "There it is. You can leave now." He spoke calmly, walking in front of the blond. "Bye bye, Shizu-chan ~." He waved before continuing to walk to the side of the road and waiting for the light to walk turn white.

Shizuo followed, despite Izaya already dismissing him. 

"I thought I told you, you could leave now." Izaya mumbled, looking at Shizuo from under his hoodie with a confused look.

"I'm taking you to your door." Shizuo stated simply, pulling Izaya by the hand as the crosswalk was cleared and they could pass.

Izaya's heart sped as he felt Shizuo's soft and unusually warm hand around his cold fingers. 

They entered the building and took the elevator, not once did Shizuo let go of Izaya's hand or Izaya pull away as he pressed the button up to his place with his free hand. 

They stood quiet in the elevator for a while before the elevator chimed and the doors whooshed open. 

Izaya led the way in the hallway to his door, mumbling something about 'Shizu-chan probably ruined the building's floor with doggie poop.' And Shizuo replying with a soft snort in agreement. 

Finally they stood in front of Izaya's door, the informant's free hand reaching into his jeans' pocket to pull out his apartment keys and poking and turning it into the keyhole, the door clinking open. He walked in, and since the enemy duo still held hands, Shizuo followed inside.

Izaya stepped out his shoes at the entrance and kept pulling Shizuo in.

"Izaya." Shizuo spoke, not moving and causing Izaya to fall back but catch himself as he turned to the blond, his senses returning to him as he noticed their interlocking fingers. 

The raven suddenly saw how Shizuo wasn't the one holding onto him, rather Izaya had managed to lock fingers with the bartender along the way. He pulled away swiftly, embarrassment evident on his features before he moved his head to the side, avoiding the blond's gaze.

"You are so not fair." Shizuo whispered, causing Izaya to look at him and immediately regretted it as his carmine eyes met amber soft ones, filled with agony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied.  
> Whoops.  
> The next chapter will reveal how the plot for this got 'bigger' and 'better'  
> ........hopefully xD
> 
> Sorry (not sorry) for the slight cliffhanger ~


	7. How Revolting.

Izaya found himself unable to tear away from those eyes, his whole body frozen as he tried to quickly say something, anything, to stop the monster from looking so human.

"You told me…" Shizuo spoke in a hushed voice, his gaze finally dropping to the floor between them.

All it took was one more step.

One more step to be in front of Izaya and be able to lift him off his feet.

One more step that he was, way more than he wanted to, ready to take. A step he actually did try to take again, only to be brutally reprimanded and harshly reminded that it was impossible.

Impossible because they were enemies.

Impossible because they were to hate and kill each other.

Impossible because the other was a _god_ and he was just a _monster_.

_A monster and a god were to never be together._

"…you told me, Izaya." Shizuo muttered again, his hands going into the pockets of his slacks, feeling uncomfortable to touch such a delicate subject. So delicate like if both were standing on thin glass that would shatter if either one moved closer to each other.

"I told you nothing. Shut up." Izaya cut him off, turning away from Shizuo and not letting him go on any further, crossing his arms over his chest as his nails painfully dugged through his shirt and into his skin. His mind flooding with the memories of the night they had such discussion. "You shall take your leave now." 

Shizuo stared at the raven head in anger, eyebrows furrowed and hands curled into fists inside his pockets. "What? Don't want to be reminded of that night?" 

"You're pathetic, Shizu-chan. So kindly, take you leave." Izaya spat, his stomach twisting and turning, feeling nauseous at the way Shizuo could be so damn--

"Me?! Pathetic??" Shizuo laughed humorlessly and hollow, making Izaya flinch at the way he tightly closed his eyes, bitter laughter spilling from red lips.

Shizuo straighten himself, eyes narrowing on Izaya with defiance in such a quick second. "You're the pathetic one, louse. Can't fucking trust or believe in anyone, not even your own shitty existence."

"Fuck off!" Izaya shouted, hating how Shizuo could pick out all his flaws no matter how much he would hide them, once again proving to Izaya just how much of a monster Shizuo really was.

Shizuo could easily tear down his tall and strong walls that he had build around him all by himself. He would just use his fucking monstrous strength and blindly punch his way through only to kill Izaya in more than one way without mercy.

"Resorting to cursing? Ah, that means you're really mad." Shizuo commented, still glaring at Izaya with cold golden eyes.

Shizuo didn't love him. No matter what he claimed, it wasn't true. Even if it were, Izaya would never swoop down to his level, nor Shizuo would try and dare to climb his way up to Izaya's.

It was useless.

Unnecessary.

Just like his own feelings towards Shizuo. They were repulsive, trying to get the best out of him. His stupid heart begging for Shizuo's. Izaya would rather have his heart suffer than his pride to be damaged by such beast.

Izaya shook his head away and felt himself start to shake from fury, eyes watering from feeling like he was losing to Shizuo. No. He wasn't feeling like he was losing, he actually lost. 

He closed his eyes, a single hot tear rolling down his cheek, inhaling and giving a shaky exhale.

Shizuo froze as he saw Izaya start to break down. He was falling apart in front of him and because of him. Something in Shizuo cracked, seeing more and more tears fall from that beautiful face.

Ah, his heart. Again.

Izaya let out a broken sob, his hand quickly going up to shut himself up. He hated himself so much, showing Shizuo his weak side no matter how much he tried to stop himself. He disgusted himself even more, noticing his legs trembling once he opened his eyes, more tears falling down and hitting the hardwood floor. The thin glass underneath them collapsed and Izaya was falling into what seemed like a bottomless pit.

Why couldn't things go back how they used to be?

Where they still stood far away from that thin line in between hatred and love.

Love. . .

How _revolting_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....I _thought_ I knew where I was going with this...
> 
> ......whoops.


End file.
